thingsareworkingrightforme.thingsarenotworkingrightforme

we have lost the connection we had.
time
season
friends
people
have changed and its only me who is in the same situation.is it just an illusion that everything will be alright? will everything fall back into its place? 
all i see is happy faces
happy sacrifices. but is even mine worth it? will it result as i have expected or shall it all fall into its places but cracked?
this lonesome feeling that i have right now cannot be described. i have everything. i feel like i don't need anything else. but yet i feel lost in this strange world and this strange place.should i have the urge to feel the need of something in my life?  i was happy until just now but then something hit me to make me feel so unhappy, so sad and alone, i don't know. until when should i fight against these feelings? somebody help me, I am so lost!zzzzzzzzZZZZzzzZZZzz


x
stupid feelings

Misses....

Tears tears and more tears for my friends an integral part of my life, i miss you guysso badly much ! 

History

Man proposes, God disposes!
Thus, the love that once seemed so promising has started to fade away. Exciting and promising love is now all in the history.
i want to cry out so loud that everyone can hear it ...the feelings that i have been hiding in order to pose as a strong person, i wanna cry them out so loud!!

Marry Me

Right!!  so this is a song by Train" Marry me" .
My future husband, no matter wherever you are, i want you to know that you should sing this song and propose me .LOL..way dramatic, i knw!!! anyways its a lovely song  for my future husband "marry me" :)




love
xxx

one man army

Its Nepal bandh, sucks
and i am stuck here at my aunt's place in Boudha doing nothing but sleeping until 1 pm, eating, pooping, trying to watch a movie in youtube which, by all the effort, works real slow. My cell phone battery is drained and i have no connection to the outer world , by outer world i mean my friends. i have closed my facebook account and i am happy the way i am. 
when did i become like this? i used to be the one who loved crowds, loved meeting new people, loved making new friends and all. But right now i am ok with the way i am; secluded from the outer world but not hoping that soon enough i might turn myself into a one man army...
So its raining outside and i reminisce the POkhara times with my cousins :( 
i wish i could go on a vacation again but i have done nothing to earn a vacation. 

one man army re!!

tanned in pkr

and this is me again going TOTALLY out of topic yet AGAIN!!!!!

🆒

LOST
i feel lost. I dont know. These days i dont worry much, i just go with the flow.i am content but i am lost.i dont know what i want and what i need. I just relax and the idea of relaxing and going with the flow isn't getting along with my physique.i am gaining weight.
Before i used to be underweight and i wished i gained a lil weight. Now due to this phase of more-than-wanted relaxation, my weight too is overrelaxed. And no i an not bitchly moaning about my weight, but i had jut asked for a tad bit upliftment of the number in the weighing machine. Why can we not get what we ask for accurrately and must there be some distorts in our fulfilment of wishes?
Well this is me being unreasonable and also drifting out of what i wanted to write. The weight issue always pulls us girls' mind, i guess??!!
Now that i have wandered off to a topic i had not intended to write about, i might as well call it a night. So yea i am just relaxed but i know i am lost.I am out of touch with my friends and i have to start revising for my finals, should start thinking about future career, work, relationship troubles. There are so many and i am lost amidst all these but yet i am chilled. Whyy?? Whats happening with me?? Maybe procrastinating re k.jpai! Zzzzz
Zzz nights folks!

Early bird???

Its 9.45am and i just woke up.damn whats wrong w.me?? I sleep so lste and i wake up so late. I dont feel sleepy early.wtf is wrong w.me???? I need to sleep early and wake up early.

Am i?

These few days have been upsetting.there isn't any good news to cheer me up,first my friends,secondly my boyfriend and then my mum fell sick.im sad n i dont see a reason to smile. Previously when a found a small sad reason, right now i'd be crying. But these days I have not shed a single drop except of course when my mum was at the emergency ward. Normally when i feel alone, i cry. But not these days.Does this mean my strength has increased? Have i grown strong enough to not to shed any tears? Or have i grown cold towards the feelings of love and relationship? Or am i not sad and alone enough? Or am i used to these lonesome feelings?
And is the answers to all these questions the same?
While wondering all these things, i go to take a shower...
Good day ya'll

Mum

Today while i was at Boudha with my aunts and my sister, dad called and gave us the most unexpected news ever.mum was really really sick and she was admitted in emergency. She was complaining about her stOmach ache since a few weeks and she was having hot water to seal the gastric pains but today the pain was tracing towards the heart and she was finding hard to breathe.
When i went to the hospital to meet her along w.my sister, i did nothing but cry. I had never imagined her like that.i mean she could never be really that sick. But seeing her like that lying on a hospital bed was really upsetting.
I love you mum.get well soon.

)$;)@,&.(@.'fygsy

I am soooo angry right now!!!! The phone that i gave my sister to use is damaged. She said she gave it to our cousin to take picture and he left it outside where it rained on it.so its not workinggggg.darn it
M sooooooioooooooo fucking mad right now.i went to our cousion n snapped.he denied it though.m so fucking mad at them.if i could,i would kick their fucking arssseee.
Damn it
I need to cool down.ffcfkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

them ol' days

Its 12.20am(23rd July). So before writing the new post for this new day, I know I owe a birthday wish to my amazingly crazy man, Nabin. Happy Birthday baby. I wish you love, good health and luck through eternity. May we be together for the years to come. Love me like u always have done, CRAZILY. big kisses and hug!! 

he put us together

ALSO

Asmita( left)& Reeta(right) BIRthday ladies

 since its 23rd already, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEST GAL, ASMITA RAI. I MISS YOU. I WISH YOU WELL TOO.may our bond be stronger with the days to come. Pray!!! your life is already so happy with people like me...haha...this shall continue for ever.

AND... 

to my favorite gal, REETA rai. happy belated birthday girl...i owed you a well written wish and here it goes. Stay strong like u always are, strong headed!!! muaxxxx

I miss him and my friends looking at the pictures. We used to have a hell load of fun laughing and hanging out, talking and teasing each others. We spent a number of birthdays together in the past and when i imagine my future, I don't know about certain people, but i certainly see them with the other three. So thats me, Asmita, Reeta, Suman and Nabin(Nap) with my girls' men. BIG love to yous!!!
miss you!!!
x

lights from height

something happened when trying to take the picture and i <3 it.

I have always loved lights. There is this thing about lights whether it be candle light, bulb light or anything that is lightened, I love it when it is not just one. I love many of them lightened. This is also the reason I love night life. I have always enjoyed looking at night filled with lights, lightened buildings, candle-lights etc. Anyways I have always had a dream of owning an apartment when I earn enough or get married. My apartment will be kinda on the top but not too top too. The main reason is in-order to reach my apartment, I'll have to walk all those stairs which is very very x3 tiresome because there will hardly be any elevator in Nepal's apartment system and if there is any I'll be rather scared to use the elevator #aftermath of watching thriller movies( if there is anyone who's after your life might shut that elevator down and bla bla.I am scared even to think about it.=D) Another thing is its not really safe to jump from the 5th or 6th floor during earthquake crisis, isn't it? =P I know i think too much.I think for years that is yet to come.

But I have this dream of having my own penthouse apartment LOL from which I can everything on the ground small. During the night, I should be able to have a clear lightened views of the houses and the tall buildings.

To me, lights have always been fascinating.

This is the view I saw from my friend's sister apartment. I love the night view!!

whats on my mind??!!!

dai stitching my loafer!

It hasn't been a week since I have bought my cute loafers. It was on sale so i bought it. Honestly speaking, i had my eyes on them since a long time and I was finding it hard to decide whether to buy it or not. But the flats that I bought about two weeks ago is counting its last breathe. You know, goods these days are not supposed to be called goods. They should be called "bads" instead. Right, so I bought this loafer because my silver flats were already in a state to be dumped. I even swore that I would spend my whole summer or whatever woth this loafer. BUT today, it was rainy and i was with my aunt around New road and off starts coming the sole of the shoe. Am i not damned? Why does the shoes I like and buy betray me the next day I buy them? Arrrggghhh. So my aunt and me go to the new road's area where there are alot of cobblers and i give my shoes to be sewed. The old man said it will cost Rs 80 and with my approval they start the work while I start viewing and analyzing the area.


Cobblers from different age and area are there. They talk, work,strt into emptiness and joke around with themselves. I start to think what is their actual income, what are the reasons that they are like that, how does they feel to touch and polish others shoes, is it their family profession, do they make a livelihood out of it, are they stisfied with their job, is the amount paid by their customers enough for them???

A lot of questions were hittig on me while I sat there and waited for my shoes to be stitched. So that time my thoughts were finding what their thoughts were!!

Salutations to this lady

Dil Shobha Shrestha

Dil shobha Shrestha is a known name.my dad and the organization he is committed to is well aquainted with Ms.Shrestha. I wasnt all ears to what my dad used to say until I saw her in the Kantipur Tv channel.She was being interview by a reputed media person Vijay Kunar Pandey. What she is doing for the society is a great thing; by giving shelter, food and company to the elderly ones who has been neglected by their cildren. She cried in front of the camera. It showed her true emotions as she talks about her difficultie in paying the loan.
A man who had gone through pain and suffering only understands the pain of another. Likewise, Ms Shrestha was neglected by her husband which led to help the elderly neglected ones. While she cried, I was so touched by what she went through that i was near to tears.
Anyways this great lady receives a salutation.
Keep up the great work Ms Shrestha.God bless her and may God give heart to those heartless who dumped their parents on the side of roadways.